Wednesday October 08, 2003 at 3:15 PM
Ode to the Recall
Appearing in Politics
We’re California and we’re pissed.
What the hell happened? What happened to all the jobs and the great schools and the beautiful freeways and the booming economy? I mean what happened to all that great stuff? To our great state? What the hell happened?
I know it’s Davis’ fault. It’s gotta be. I knew he was trouble when he couldn’t even keep the electricity going. I mean what happened up there in Sacramento? It’s just electricity for God’s sake. How hard can it be? Even those poor Iraqi bastards managed to keep it running until it all got blown up and looted and stuff.
Now he says it’s because of Enron. Yeah right. That’s just like him to try and blame it on somebody else. All I know is that somebody somewhere signed some stupid contracts and I’m the one that got screwed. Screwed big time. I mean do you see my freakin’ bills? It was like $400 a month just to keep the air conditioning running. Enron Schmenron. I got screwed.
And besides, he’s a creep. I mean how the hell did he ever get elected? Who are the 4 million idiots that voted for him? Must be all those hippies and tree-huggers up in San Francisco. Yeah, those folks are just the type that would vote for a guy like Davis. Them and all those Hollywood types down in Los Angeles. They’d probably like him too. He’s just like them. That perfect hair and stupid smile. Like a used-car salesman without charisma. I mean how the hell did anybody ever think he could actually run this state. Look at the place would ya?. We’re the fifth biggest economy in the world — in the WORLD. We’re like bigger than France and even the French manage to keep their lights on and their economy out of the shitter. I mean how hard can it be if the French can do it?
Thank God Issa came along. Without him we’d still be in this mess. Can you imagine? Another three years of Davis. God knows what else he’d manage to screw up. Thank God for Issa though. Without his vision we’d never even had this recall. What vision. What a patriot. I mean there’s a guy who understands democracy. Not that I was going to vote for him. I mean he is one of them and everybody knows you can’t trust ‘em. Not any of them. Those freakin’ politicians. I hate those guys.
But whatever, thank God for his money. His money and his vision. Well, his money, his vision, and his balls. I mean it took real balls to hire all those folks to gather signatures. I was so freakin’ happy to sign that petition.I almost can’t wait to do it again. It’s awesome. Real power. Real democracy you know.
I mean if the politicians can’t fix the economy what good are they? I say if they can’t do the job we just fire ‘em and move on to the next guy. That’s the way it it is at work and that’s the way it ought to work up there in Sacramento. If they can’t do the job we just yank the bastards out of office and replace ‘em with somebody who can. I mean that’s democracy ain’t it? We all get to vote on stuff. That’s what it’s all about right? I mean gettin’ to vote on stuff.
And Schwarzenegger. Thank God for Schwarzenegger. All those other candidates were so stupid. Just plain idiots or has-been actors or liberal freaks who want us to live in trees and eat bark and stop driving our trucks and start worrying about global warming and stupid stuff like that.
But not Schwarzenegger. He’s awesome. I mean he KICKS ASS. Did you see Terminator? I loved that! He just went in there and KICKED ASS. That’s what we need up in Sacramento. We need somebody to go in there and KICK ASS. Get those politicians in line. Show ‘em who’s boss. Make ‘em fix this budget thing and get the economy going again so we can all get back to work. That’s what it’s all about ain’t it? The economy and the jobs and just going in there and KICKING ASS.
And who cares about all that groping? I mean the guy’s a movie star okay? Those guys get to do that sort of stuff all the time. That’s just how it is. And who really cares anyway? It all happened a long time ago and it was just messing around, playtime sort of stuff you know. I mean its not like he diddled an intern or any sick crap like that.
And don’t forget about the freaking car tax. I hate that damn car tax. What a stupid idea. Arnold’ll fix that. He’s going to go in there kick some ass and get rid of that damn car tax. And fix the budget too. That’s right he’s going to go to Sacramento kick some ass, get rid of the car tax, fix the budget, fix the schools, fix the highways, and get us all back to work. He can do it too. I’ve seen him in the movies and he just kicks ass and that’s what those stupid politicians need. They just need somebody to come up there and kick some ass.
For God’s sake we’re the biggest state in the country. The fifth biggest economy in the world. We’re California dammit and we’re pissed.
